How someone reacts when being triggered is a personal matter, meanwhile one thing is true for everyone, when feeling triggered we are in a non-reasonable place and unable to maintain control on ourselves.

How can we self-manage when being triggered?

“Being aware of the emotions has a crucial importance because emotions are never wrong”

When being triggered we act based on a reactive mindset, which is a response of the same nature with the cause of the trigger, put in simpler words, we unconsciously tend to follow the same energy state as the other person who is interacting with us. To start taking control on yourself you must start by visualizing the goal of this conversation, what is the result you want to get from it. Only after setting your own focus you will be able to provide to the interaction another approach and state of energy, this is a switch from a reactive mindset to a creative one. 

In a creative mindset you aim to distance yourself form that state of responsiveness and offer a new approach to the discussion, an approach that converts a possibly destructive conversation into a constructive one.

“A creative mindset is one where you take charge of the conversation”

Below are listed 3 steps that help to make the transition from Reactive to Creative:

1. Trigger/Emotion- Be Aware of the emotions and the trigger. Your emotions and your behaviors belong to you, and you should start by managing them instead of trying to deal with the trigger which is something that comes from outside and you can`t control.
2. Choice-  Deepen the learning instead of responding the trigger. Find out what exactly is causing this reaction in you and Name it . Sometimes when a top value is being challenged people tend to overreact. For example, if team work is one of your top values and someone you work with, keeps putting the attention into personal merits you will feel triggered and angry. Instead of victimizing yourself and responding angrily, name the real issue and consider this as an opportunity to explore with the other person how this merits might serve to the team as a whole.
3. Recovery- By switching from a responsive mindset into a creative mindset, you direct the conversation into deeper values, more meaningful than a superficial word or action and try to bring the discussion in a more beneficial level for all people related to this topic.

Self-management is a way to take charge of your life and live it the way you want. External inputs will always be present but it’s up to you to manage yourself and consider every trigger as a challenge that aims to make you a better leader of your own life!

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